Dating

One of this world’s biggest mysteries to me is dating.  I have watched movies and documentaries, read books, and talked to professionals and friends about why you should or should not date.  I have heard it all.  How to get a woman.  How to get a man.  How to lose a woman or man.  How to just get them in the sack.  How to make them yours forever.  Wine and dine them?  Be cocky and funny?  Play it cool?  Be straightforward and let them know what your intentions are right away?  That actually is a great question and the basis for my writing today. 

What is the intention and purpose of dating?  I don’t think dating even ever existed until recently.  Think about back when our grandparents were kids.  You ever hear about any of them dating multiple women?  Of course not.  You just heard of them courting a woman and then marrying them—girls busting out kids when they were still kids.  That just isn’t how it is nowadays.  We date plenty of girls and sleep around like crazy.  I just don’t know why.  What is the intention and purpose of dating?  I read this book called I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  It was really good.  It talked about not going out with a girl or a guy one on one so you wouldn’t be seen as a couple.  It talked about not going out to meet a girl/guy and liking them—just make friends with everyone you meet.  No intentions on meeting a person to hook up with, date, or even spend the rest of your life with.  Just let that latter part happen.  The guy who wrote it even wrote about never kissing anyone until he gets married.  Some of us may think it sounds crazy, but I think it sounds kind of noble and passionate.  This is a guy who is taking on an old school way of thinking (maybe to the extreme) and just doing his thing.  He was a Christian and devoted all of the time he could have been dating someone to his studies and to the Scriptures.  I think that if this works for you like it did for him, amazing and I support you 100%.  Then, on the flip side, there is the total opposite.  I’ve met people who thought it was their duty to have sex with every girl they have ever met.  I don’t know if this is such a good idea, but if it works for you, then well, you’re gonna be seen as a god in some people’s eyes, and a loser in others.  Either way, I won’t and don’t judge you.  It’s your lifestyle.  I just caution you that empty, meaningless make-out sessions, fondling, and sex lead to only creating more emptiness (in general).  So, either of the two ways of dating, or any in between, that you choose to live, just be careful. 

Anyway, what is the purpose of dating?  Why do people date?  Usually if you are attracted to someone, and you start dating right away, you find that you don’t really fit with each other—you aren’t compatible.  Also, most, if not all, people say that if you date a person that you were friends with first then that usually turns out to be the best relationships.  So, why would you meet someone and start dating them?  Shouldn’t you get to know them as friends, and then ask them out, and then marry them?  But with that comes so much confusion.  I think that no matter how well you know someone, once you start dating them it is a whole new ball game.  Also, some people change when you start dating them and if it is for the worse, who the heck wants to marry that person?  Then again, you marry someone because you love them.  If you truly love them, you love them unconditionally.  You are never jealous, hating, angry, but always supportive, trusting, truthful, and passionate.  Should you really be able to tell if someone loves you, and will love you in marriage, without dating or before you start dating? 

Man, as you can see I have no idea about dating.  I have dated lots of girls at certain points in my life.  At other points, I have sworn off women completely (not very fun or recommended in my opinion).  I just don’t get dating at all.  But I tell you what; I know who I would be dating right now if I had my choice.  And on thing I know for sure, this blog made no sense!  But since I spent so long writing it, you better believe it is going up and you are reading it.